Monday, July 31, 2006

RE: Snakes on a Plane

"'Snakes on a Plane,' the horror flick with the year's best title, has become an online obsession and a pop culture phenomenon withoug even opening. Is this the shape of things to come?"
-Entertainment Weekly, August 4, 2006

FROM: Toby Emmerich, President, New Line Cinema
TO: New Line Development Staff

RE: Snakes on a Plane


As you are all by now aware, Snakes on a Plane is shaping up to be our tentpole for summer 2006. We owe a great deal of thanks for this unlikely blessing to the internet community, who has clearly done most of our marketing for us. That, in turn, begs the question: Are we utilizing the internet surfer demographic to its fullest extent in the New Line oeuvre? I was up very late last night jotting down some notes on how to further parlay this film's success into future features, and below are my thoughts. Play around with these and see what you come up with.

EBAY: THE MOVIE - A slacker has to sell all his belongings on Ebay due to a weird clause in his grandfather's will or something. Maybe he falls in love with one of the buyers (Sarah Jessica Parker?) after they chat a lot on AOL Instant Messenger. Or Yahoo Instant Messenger. Whoever ponies up the money.

LORD OF THE RINGS: THE BLOG: THE MOVIE - Two young men realize that their lives echo the struggles of the main characters in LOTR, and after sharing their feelings with the world via the internet, realize they're not alone. No female lead.

THE ACCOUNT - After receiving a mysterious email from a stranger, a man helps a poor Nigerian escape the clutches of his tyrannical government by putting a lot of money into a bank account in Amsterdam. I'm thinking Nic Cage as the Nigerian. Also there's a website involved that kills you if you look at it (subplot). Run that last part through our international properties, see if you find anything we can purchase.

INVADING MY SPACE - a young teen finds his life uproariously turned on its ear when his 50,000 myspace friends all decide to stop by and visit his home at the same time. Also, he learns that popularity isn't everything at his high school. And a snooty cheerleader changes her tune and falls in love with him. Finale at the big homecoming game, where he scores a touchdown.

GEOCITY - A busy housewife finds herseslf magically transported to a magical place called Geocity, where everything moves really slowly and she has to wait forever to get anything done. Through this, she learns to love her family more.

MICROSOFT WORD UP! - A young street hustler (Omar Epps) writes a best-selling novel. Kevin James is the voice of a magic paperclip that guides his way.

PRIVATE SCHOOL FORUM BABES - A bunch of sexy teenage girls go to raunchy, titillating measures to fight the system when a greedy conglomerate tries to overtake the chat forum of their favorite TV show and turn it into a business forum about business news. Measures to include a bikini carwash and kissing booth.

UNTITLED CROTCH-HITTING PROJECT - A thirty-something accountant keeps getting hit in the balls with things. Fast track this.

Let me know how these progress. 2007 is going to be a great year.